I am ashamed and disgusted at yet another news story today about the use of time out used inappropriately in a Queensland school to ā€œmanageā€ the behaviours of a Year 3 boy with Autism. Many of these stories are starting to be picked up by the media, and rightly so, such as the ā€œcageā€ used In a Canberra school this year to restrain a young boy with Autism as well as the wooden box used to ā€œcalmā€ children at an ASPECT school at Heatherton in Victoria.

 
I am well aware that many children, both with and without Autism, can at times be challenging and as a parent it can be extremely frustrating and difficult to manage these behaviours. However, I find it difficult to comprehend that the use of cages and boxes are still even a consideration especially by professionals in the field.
As a Psychologist I am an advocate for ensuring children have boundaries and are given role models and encouragement to recognize right from wrong, but how can the use of these barbaric forms of behaviour management ever teach a child right from wrong? So I want to talk in this weekā€™s blog about time out strategies, when they are appropriate and how to use them.
What is Time out?

time out corner
Time out can help teach children right from wrong. It means redirecting your child calmly to a designated area you have for time out when they have displayed a behaviour that is inappropriate. Outlining EXACTLY what the behavior you will use time out for is vital.
When looking for an area to use for time out avoid using bathrooms and bedrooms in most cases. I prefer what is often referred to as time in, ā€“ such as a corner of the room. This allows you to monitor your child without excluding them fully, just not where they can watch television or video games!! My children have been subjected to time out standing next to a tree in the park, or a bench seat at the supermarket or a corner of our dining room. If you do use a room, you may be able to leave the door open to help you monitor your child.
The rule for time out is that you use no more than 1 minute for each year of age e.g a 3 year old maximum time out would be for 3 minutes. It is not usual to use time out on a child under 2 years of age as they do not tend to understand the concept and hence learn very little from it.
Vital components to using time out
The vital things to know if using time out strategies (apart from refraining from using cages and boxes!!!) is that it must be used consistently, without anger and used with praise and lots of love. What do we mean by these:

1.Consistency: There is something I have called the ā€œpoker machineā€ response strategy. Basically when a reward (or in this case consequence of time out) is used inconsistently like a poker machine pay out it strengthens the behaviour response. In psychology terms this is known as intermittent reinforcement. If you reward a behaviour sporadically you will reinforce that behavior more. A poker machine response looks like this:
1. Child says please ā€“ REWARD
2. Child says please ā€“ NO REWARD
3. Child says please ā€“ NO REWARD
4. Child says please ā€“ REWARD
5. Child says please ā€“ NO REWARD
6. Child says please ā€“ NO REWARD
7. Child says please ā€“ NO REWARD
8. Child says please ā€“ NO REWARD
9. Child says please ā€“ NO REWARD
10. Child says please ā€“ REWARD

The child does not know when the reward is coming. They must say please to get the reward but they donā€™t get it everytime ā€“ this is actually the strongest type of reward system. Thatā€™s why poker machines are set up this way.

poker  machine
Now imagine if it was not a reward but a consequence such as time out being used in this inconsistent manner ā€“ what you actually do reinforce the inappropriate behaviour through the poker machine response. You are using the strongest type of reward model to reinforce the behaviour you actually want to reduce or eliminate!!
This is why consistency is so important with all behaviour management strategies.
2. WITHOUT ANGER: It is always important to remain calm when providing time out or any behaviour support strategies. This is not always easy to do but important because we know that when frustrated or angry we donā€™t communicate as well to our child and we can tend to step over the line in what we say and do. So practice taking a deep breathe and avoid shouting or showing emotion. Try to stay matter of fact and give a clear simple instruction. Do not get involved in any discussion or argument about the behaviour or time out.

 

calm parent
3. LOVING AND CARING ENVIRONMENT:, itā€™s important that time out is used alongside lots of praise for acceptable behaviour and in a loving and supportive environment overall. Catch your child doing the right thing and praise them, tell them how great they are doing. Never give your child the message that you donā€™t love them even when using time out.

child hug

Alternatives to time out
Take a break together, sit down away from activities at the first sign your child is getting upset. Find a quiet space to take a break together. Just five minutes of connection, listening to what your child is feeling and talking about more appropriate choice really helps. This is similar to a time in. Use pictures or visuals if you need to.
Give them a second chance ā€“ ever made a mistake or done something you quickly learnt you shouldnā€™t do again. Often letting children try again letā€™s them address the problem or change their behavior.
Another great way to help children understand how to make better choices is by reading stories with characters that are making mistakes, having big feelings or needing help to make better choices. Also, reading together can be a really positive way to re-connect and direct our attention to our child. We love the Red Beast book

red beast

For some child time out will not work or is detrimental, for example we are very cautious about using time out for children who have been traumatized, its is also not always the best option for children with Autism or children with a Disability. There are many options to try as alternatives to time out. Always make sure you are teaching and modelling appropraite and praising your child for appropriate behaviour
Of course if you are concerned about your childā€™s behaviour then seek help from a Psychologist or a Behaviour Support Practitioner

Related Articles

As a multidisciplinary team our specialists provide Therapy Services such as psychology, speech and occupational therapy for all stages of a person’s life.

Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

MEDICATIONS AND AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER

A number of medications are used for the management of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in conjunction with therapeutic intervention. Medications have been proven to have effects on irritability, hyperactivity, and repetitive behaviours…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

AVOIDING MISDIAGNOSIS IN OUR CHILDREN

The overlap of symptoms between different disorders can be confusing for parents, and at times therapists!!!. When understanding the complexity of this it is important to realise that different therapists receive training…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

AVOIDING CHRISTMAS MELTDOWNS

Christmas…. a time for giving, celebration and of course Santa. Its also a time for spending time with friends and family!! Whilst visiting friends and relatives and attending parties and social gathering…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

WHAT IS PRAXIS?

What is Praxis and Dyspraxia? Put simply, you may have been told you that your child has difficulties with motor planning (planning movements) which involves planning what to do and how to…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

What Is Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Autism Spectrum Disorder is classified as a pervasive neurodevelopmental disorder. What this means is it is lifelong and relates to the development of the brain. Autism Spectrum Disorder is characterised by difficulties…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Early Signs and Symptoms of Autism

Parents frequently ask “What are the symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder?” and unfortunately we can’t always give a straight answer. Autism isn’t like most diagnoses where your child will display symptoms x,…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

How To Implement Routines Effectively

What are routines and why are they important? Routines are an integral component to preparing for and attending school. Routines enable children to anticipate what happens next and gives them a great…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

How can Speech therapy help my child?

How can a Speech PathologistĀ  help your child with communication difficulties? Communication, what does it meanā€¦when we talk about communication difficulties, we arenā€™t just referring to verbal language, or helping a child…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong

Autism Eligibility for NDIS

  There has been a lot of confusion around the Autism diagnosis and eligibility for the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS). The recent ā€œaccidentalā€ change to the operational guidelines by the NDIA…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Learning to Identify our Moods

By Deni Fowle – Senior Psychologist This has been a recent topic of conversation both in the clinic and in my home. I am currently working with a few 11-12 year old…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

What are school readiness skills?

  ā€˜School readinessā€™ measures a childā€™s development in knowledge, skills and behaviours that collaboratively enable children to participate effectively and succeed in the school environment. Often parents believe that school readiness refers…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Children and Gaming

With the World Health Organisation adding Gaming Disorder into the International Classification of Diseases Edition 11 the gaming world has gone into chaos, and frustration. Rest assured this does not mean that…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

REGULATING ATTENTION

  Sometimes we can have difficulty keeping our attention focused. But did you know that our attention is actually resource limited? Thatā€™s why it can be hard to do two things at…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Fussy Eating: When is it a Problem?

  Many parents will have difficulty trying to get their children to eat a range of different foods. Children willĀ oftenĀ have favourite foods and food preferencesĀ which canĀ result in parents makingĀ a meal that is…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Reading Difficulties

Reading difficulties can occur for a wide range of reasons and can affect people of all ages. Reading is important for: learning new words developing language understanding learning about the world developing…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Getting Prepared for the School Year

  Returning to school and workĀ inĀ the new year and the transition that this requires can beĀ aĀ difficultĀ task,Ā especially when managingĀ the transition ofĀ multiple family members.Ā Ā  The challenges of returning to school and work can include…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Managing Transitions

We have all found it challenging in one way or another when something unexpected happens or didnā€™t go our way. These situations can lead to feelings of frustration, fear and even anxiety.…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

The Art of Waiting – Children

We live in a world that is all about convenience such that advances in technology have allowed immediate access to diverse foods, knowledge, social interactions, money, television shows and music without ever…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Morning Routines

A strong morning routine sets you up for a productive day resulting in more wins and a sense of accomplishment. A structured morning helps to reduce stress and more wins help to…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Speech versus Language Disorder

  There are so many terms used for different communication disorders;Ā it can be very confusing! Letā€™s breakĀ some of itĀ down for youā€¦Ā Ā  SpeechĀ Ć Ā the way we use sounds to make words.Ā  LanguageĀ Ć Ā the choice of…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Regulating Attentionā€Æ

Throughout our day-to-day lives, people are faced with a barrage of informationĀ and distractions. ThisĀ barrageĀ can take the shape of sensory information from external stimuli, such as sights, sounds, smells, tastes, changes in temperature,…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Our COVID Response

Real Therapy SolutionsĀ  COVIDĀ Response StrategiesĀ  LikeĀ everyone else,Ā Real Therapy SolutionsĀ is adjusting to the new world requirements with COVID 19. Our commitment is to ensure that all our clients receive high-quality support and therapy…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Sleep and Mental Health

People often talk about sleep and how important it is for our body to function, especially brain function. If we have poor sleep for long periods of time, it’s harder to think,…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Preparing for a Happy Easter

School holiday times are lots of fun ā€“ especially when they involve chocolate,Ā Easter egg hunts, and hot cross buns! But holiday times can be stressful too.Ā Being out of normal routine canĀ be difficult,…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Transitioning to Solids

Transitioning to solid foods is a bigĀ and excitingĀ milestone for babies and parents and most times it goes very smoothly. However, at times this may be difficultĀ due to many underlying reasons andĀ especially if…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Managing Anxiety

What is anxiety?Ā Ā  Anxiety is what we feel when we are worried,Ā tenseĀ or afraid ā€“ particularly about things that are about to happen, or which we think could happen in the future. Anxiety…
Read More
Therapy Services Sydney & Wollongong
5 min read

Regulating Attentionā€Æ

Throughout our day-to-day lives, people are faced with a barrage of informationĀ and distractions. ThisĀ barrageĀ can take the shape of sensory information from external stimuli, such as sights, sounds, smells, tastes, changes in temperature,…
Read More
Translate LanguageĀ»